Thursday, June 18, 2009

#171. Wasting Raccoon's in Detroit

Black people love Detroit. Comprising nearly 92 percent of the inhabitants of the 11th most populated city in the United States, Black people can take umbrage at any other city in America trying to classify themselves as the ultimate Black - or Chocolate city.

Detroit has a very colorful city council to represent the citizenry - even though many of those elected to protect the public interests are themselves currently under indictment for fraud, bribery and misuse of public funds - as they try and fight off massive job loss, rising crime rates ( most dangerous city in America), failing schools (Forty Schools closing) and the potential bulldozing of large sections of the city (another topic for Stuff Black People Don't Like, for another time).

CNN reports that you can buy a house for $100 down in Detroit:

"Dragging down the average are homes that are long abandoned or foreclosed on that are selling for pennies on the dollar. Detroit already had the lowest market value houses in Michigan before the latest rounds of job losses at GM and other huge employers, market analysts say."
Suffice it to say, Detroit is a thriving Black metropolis, a beacon and a veritable citadel for Black people's crowning achievement in America and an example of what Black people can bring to other major cities throughout the nation.

Black people love Detroit, for it is their city and the epitome of change and hope that all cities can look forward to undergoing during the Kafkaesque transformation of America.

Detroit no longer has a major grocery chain and:

"No national grocery chain operates a store here. A lack of outlets that sell fresh produce and meat has led the United Food and Commercial Workers union and a community group to think about building a grocery store of its own."
This void has left the fine citizens of Detroit with the major problem of how to acquire food. Thankfully, raccoon is filling that vacuum.

What Black people do not like though, is wasting good raccoon in the catacombs of the decaying, crumbling city that is Detroit. Raccoon is considered a delicacy in Detroit, a rare treat that is vital to nourishing Black people and enabling them to continue the cities meteoric rise to the top of the Green Revolution in America. White people might like LEED certification; Black people just like nature baby.

And in nature, anytime a raccoon passes away, the true urban hunter Glemie Dean Beasley - a 69-year-old retired truck driver - swoops in to cook it.

Travels with Charlie, reports:

"While economic times are tough across Michigan as its people slog through a difficult and protracted deindustrialization, Beasley remains upbeat.

Where one man sees a vacant lot, Beasley sees a buffet.

"Starvation is cheap," he says as he prepares an afternoon lunch of barbecue coon and red pop at his west side home."

The Raccoon raconteur continues:

"Coon or rabbit. God put them there to eat," Beasley said....Hunting is prohibited within Detroit city limits and Beasley insists he does not do so. Still, he says that life in the city has gone so retrograde that he could easily feed himself with the wildlife in his backyard, which abuts an old cement factory."

"This city is going back to the wild," he says. "That's bad for people but that's good for me. I can catch wild rabbit and pheasant and coon in my backyard.
The saga of Detroit is encapsulated in the saga of Beasley. Knowing over 100 ways to cook Raccoon, Beasley is a thriving entrepreneur who sells his wares to the cities inhabitants. The city might not resemble the optimistic future imagined in the film Robocop, but Black people don't like wasting raccoon in any environment.

Stuff Black People Don't Like does not include Detroit, which is the ultimate Black people's city, but it does including wasting Raccoon there, for any meal that can be found is a fine one indeed.


Anonymous said...

Detroit is not just the future of America, it's the future of the world.

Thanks a lot you retarded white-liberal fucks.

Anonymous said...

I don't see many "liberal white f*cks" in Detroit!

Anonymous said...

The liberal white fucks live in the rich suburbs of Detroit closer to ann arbor. Of course they never live near the diversity they impose on middle and working class whites.
"The ruins of Detroit" its quite amazing that we're going to see North Americas first "ghost city"

Anonymous said...

It's too bad that the self governing blacks in Detroit can't sustain their city. Inevitably they will migrate out of the wasteland they have created and ruin the suburbs in search of what they moved to Detroit for in the first place. The cycle will repeat again and again.

John T. said...

I have to admit that barbecued coon is surprisingly good. This guy may seem like some old throwback sterotype but I do admire the fact that he is at least self-reliant.

We had all better be prepared to eat some things that we now consider less than desireable fare.

I think times will get tough for everybody.

But yeah Detroit is a shithole and it is because of blacks. That is the given.

Anonymous said...

I live in NYC. I'm originally from Houston. What I like about Houston is that we have the Mexicans to counterbalance the blacks, and boy do they hate each other, even more so than they hate rednecks.