Thursday, July 23, 2009

#602. The Morning After 'Making It Rain'

All people throughout history have secretly desired the ability to control the weather. Farmers who saw their crop ruined due to droughts; high school football players who dreaded the 100 degree weather during two-a-days in the summer; and George W. Bush, just days before Katrina hit New Orleans, all wished the ability to manipulate the weather.

However, only Black people have mastered the idea of controlling precipitation and this amazing skill is known as "Making it Rain":
"When you're in da club with a stack (of money), and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money."
Black people, particularly Black athletes, are highly adroit at channeling the weather Gods and creating a monetary monsoon at their command when visiting strip clubs.

Adam "Pacman" Jones, a prime example of the modern Black athlete, was involved in one particular magical evening, when he was able to conjure up a financial flood that reminded some people at the strip club of the old saying, "Apres-je, le deluge":
"...what happened inside a Las Vegas strip club on Feb. 19, 2007, when Adam "Pacman" Jones showered scantily clad dancers with money. Just minutes after "making it rain," Jones was involved in a fight inside the club. A short time later, three people were shot outside the club.

Shortly after 2 a.m. on Feb. 19, Jones and an entourage of about seven people -- a group that included his stylist; his business manager, Chris Horvath; and Robert Reid, Jones' massive bodyguard for the evening -- arrived at the Minxx Gentlemen's Club & Lounge...

Jones told police he arrived at the club with "close to $100,000." He took $40,000 out of his Louis Vuitton bag and exchanged it for several stacks of $1 bills, which he put in a black trash bag, according to his statement. So much money was thrown onto the main stage that dancers, after their sets, started filling buckets with the loose bills covering the stage."
Adam "Pacman" Jones uncanny ability to "make it rain" was upstaged by the exploits of fellow NFL player Vince Young, who also has the God-like ability to perform feats of down-pour of dollars at a moments whim:
"The last time a member of the Tennessee Titans decided to "make it rain" while hanging out at an event with Nelly -- people got shot and lives were ruined. But Vince Young isn't one to learn from other people's mistakes...While onstage with the rapper during a performance in Houston last week, Vince rolled out a wad of cash and started showering the crowd with dollar bills. But unlike the incident with his former teammate Pacman Jones, everyone emerged unharmed this time."
"Making It Rain" is a popular rap song, that contains these wonderful lyrics that allow the world to see how Black people can conjure up the ability to perform daring feats of weather manipulation:
"Oww Scottie lets make it rain on these niggas...

I'm in this bitch with the terror got a handful of stacks Better grab an umbrella

I make it rain, (I make it rain)

I make it rain on them hoes make it rain,(I make It rain)

I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain,(I make it rain)

I make it rain on them hoes I make it rain(I make it rain)

I make it rain on them hoes"
Black people - particulary Black athletes and rappers - can "make it rain" with an authority unlike any Indian chieftan performing the most elaborate rain dance. However, the idea of "making it rain" does have horrible ramifications, as the celebratory evening can leave devastating memories in the morning after, not to mention the financial lunacy of unloading massive amounts of cash with a low return on investment proposition.

The morning after "Making it Rain" can be a traumatic experience for Black people, as Pacman Jones found out:
"Police seized $81,020 in cash belonging to Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones, money they said sparked a melee and a triple shooting at a strip club over the weekend, court documents show

Jones was showering more than 40 strippers onstage at Minxx Gentlemen's Club & Lounge early Monday with the cash "intended as a visual effect," according to a search warrant. But a scuffle broke out when the Houston promoter who hired the strippers told them to pick the money up."
Jones was suspended from the NFL for one year after this incident, and Vince Young has never recovered from his bout with "Making it Rain", nearly committing suicide and losing his starting job to a white quarterback.

Stuff Black People Don't Like includes the morning after "Making it Rain" for the ability to create spontaneous weather patterns yielding wads of cash for strippers, strips away the judgement skills of the person performing the feat. Yet, this is one of the few instances when Black people do leave a solid tip, however the ramifications the morning after are to great to warrant "Making it Rain".

FYI - ESPN has removed the clip below that exposes the story of Pacman Jones: CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT.


will walters said...

black people are funny

Anonymous said...

Pacman loves the "scrip club".